First of the firsts

After losing anyone, everyone always says it is the big events where you notice the missing presence of a loved one the most. Everyone also says that the first year is the hardest, as this is when you have to experience these big events for the first time. We recently had our first New Year…

Deck the Halls

For those who read my blog post “My glass if half-full” you know that a) I love Christmas and b) that I always try to look on the bright side of things. So when it came to 1st December, I had to have the tree up. Only it wasn’t quite as fa la la la…

My glass is half-full

Starting this blog has been cathartic for me, but annoyingly in the last week, bothersome. I started this blog because at the time of losing Beatrice I couldn’t find any blogs relating to baby loss that I could relate and aspire to. Well actually absolutely no-one wants to aspire to baby loss, but when I…

Giving birth

Part 2 – The birth Leaving the hospital and going home to wait for 48 hours was torture. Knowing that my baby had died and was still inside me, not knowing why it had all happened and the prospect of having to tell everyone made me feel scared, guilty and lonely. It was the longest…